I lost my mothers tongue
mãe me perdoa
I listen to her speak rapidly. words falling from her mouth, boca, like water.
Slang thrown, laughter, her melodic drawl smooth and intentional with each syllable.
eu te amo
I mimic her. curl my tongue around each letter, let it drip from my lips, lábios, like a child learning to speak.
quão bonita, minha menina negra
I try to copy her confidence in a language I can only understand brokenly. a culture I am nostalgic for but never knew enough about.
você fala português? Que vergonha! por que não?
how do I answer a question I cannot find the words to speak.
I want to find the half stolen by shame, vegonha, we never deserved to feel for raising daughters in languages, in cultures, that belonged to us too.
I envy my sisters who can speak their tongue, inveja.
minha querida, I just want to go home too”
— Diáspora (via senhoritaugly)